Family Friendships (Ephesians 1:3-10) • Pastor Chris Liu • August 14, 2016
For most of our relationships, we can choose who we want to be our friends. However, we don’t have a choice about who our parents, children, or siblings are. To an extent, we don’t have a choice about who our relatives and extended families are either. Some of us may have great relationships with our family and some not so great, but God’s desire is for us to build strong friendships with our family members. Here’s how we can do it.
For children, we can build strong friendships with our parents by honoring them (Exodus 20:12). How do we do that? We can start by listening to their instruction and remembering what they have taught us (Proverbs 1:8-9). When our parents teach us, we need to really listen to and obey them. Another way of honoring our parents is to spend quality time with them and opening share with them your joys and hurts. Talk to them and get to know them. Finally, we can honor them by caring for them and providing for them.
Of course, parents need to be worthy of that honor. They need to live Christ-like lives and be teaching truth to their children. This leads me to my second point of how parents can build strong friendships with their children.
Parents can start by teaching their children God’s Word. Spend time together in the Word. Have spiritual conversations about faith and what it means to be a disciple of Christ. Instruct them in the way they should go. Another thing parents can do is to not provoke (or exasperate) their children (Ephesians 6:4). Parents can provoke/exasperate their children by overprotecting them, neglecting them, setting unrealistic goals/expectations of them, and poor discipline (too much or too little). I believe the biggest thing parents can do is to model for their children what it means to be a disciple of Christ. Kids will pick up what we think is important by how we spend our money, where we spend our time, what we emphasize as important.
There are other relationships (siblings, extended family, in-laws) that all need to be build up as well. A quick note on these relationships is that these all take time to build. Focus on the good parts. Extend grace. Forgive one another.
The last thing I want to note is that whether we have great relationships with our family members or poor relationships with them, the joy and hope we can have is that we can be a part of God’s family. in Ephesians 1:3-10, we see that God has chosen us and adopted us into His family. When we become a part of His family, we have an intimacy with Him, we have a new identity in Him, and we have an inheritance in Him. How great that is!
So let’s build up our friendships within our family and thank God for our family of origin and our spiritual family in Christ.